In search for perfection…

In recent times I’ve been thinking about how I have changed as a person.
I used to believe that people don’t really change, well, at least I’ve always tried not to change much.
Yet sometimes the change itself is so gradual that you won’t even notice it until you encounter something familiar that contradicts your own philosophy.
Yesteday was the premiere of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, many of my friends lined up to watch this. Pretty understandable since the original Transformers was such a big hit when it was released back in 2007.
I didn’t watch Transformers (2007) on the big screen, I don’t think I’ll watch TR2 either.
Let me tell you why.
I’ve always loved movies. I used to watch every big movie with big stars in it. Mel Gibson (Lethal Weapon) was my first movie idol, quickly followed by Tom Hanks (Forrest Gump), Jim Carrey (The Mask), and Nic Cage (Con Air). I never had to think much before deciding on a particular movie. Most of them were done by consensus, as I went with my school mates almost all the time. The movie itself was just another incentive (besides McDonald’s obviously) to meet up with each other, have some laugh, and do some activities @ the mall with my guys. In the end, the movie didn’t really matter, the joy of friendship did.
As I grew older, however, it began to change. I didn’t really feel the change because it was so gradual. As far as my memory goes, I think I started to notice it after watching The Mummies with my college friends. They said the movie was fun yet I thought otherwise. “It was rubbish!”, I said to one of my friends. I went into some details trying to convince them that it was, indeed, rubbish, but instead they came up with a new nickname for me: Kong Tai Wa (a definitely mispelled, Cantonese/Hokkian term for ‘utter rubbish/impossible’). I always say that word whenever I think of a movie that doesn’t make any sense.
At first I thought it was just a matter of preference, but it wasn’t. Over the course of time, I’ve slowly become a movie critic instead of a movie lover. I don’t see the point of watching a bad movie. Nowadays, I always look up to several movie review sites before I decide which movie that I’ll be going to. I care more about plots, scripts, actor’s performance and symbolisms. I go by the consensus of professional critics, rather than friends. In short, the movie itself has become my main objective, friendship come second when it comes to it.
I still won’t watch a big screen movie without friends, but that’s primarily because I want to exchange opinions afterwards.
When I think about it, that reversal in order (from social oriented, to movie oriented) has a big disadvantage in my social life. TR2 is a perfect example of this. My friends might call me this Saturday to watch TR2 and I would most probably say no. From going out with friends on a Saturday, to staying at home and joining them AFTER the movie is never going to be the same. I sometimes have the thought of forcing myself into watching, yet I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to bare it and resulted in venting my disapproval to my friends afterwards. I did that before and it’s not fair to my friends when you think of it.
I sometimes wish I could be the same me who enjoy whatever movies with friends. Unfortunately, I could never be the same. I take the things that I like very seriously. When it comes to sports, food, and movies, I can become a very…very serious person. A person that you probably won’t enjoy being with. It’s sad, but true.

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